I’m reminded on this gloomy, cloudy day in northwest Ohio as I recover from bronchitis, that I need to slow down and rest; heal my body with sleep and medicine - both non-traditional and traditional aids to help my lungs and bronchioles nurse back to full capacity. It’s a very panicky feeling as I labor to breathe and I hear wheezing sounds echoing throughout my chest cavity. I don’t like it! I feel grouchy and sad and begin to retreat into self-pity, becoming even more introverted and introspected than I already am. As I’ve pondered the meaning of the emotional component of my illness, I asked myself, “What is the bottom-line function of the lungs?” Breath! Life!
I researched the word “breath” and found 115 antonyms for “opposite of breath.” As I read the words and phrases, I noticed how dark and heavy and hopeless their meanings felt. I even realized my body was hunched over the keyboard typing (and coughing because obviously I was limiting my own oxygen intake simply with my body posture). Some of the phrases were “opposite of continued survival,” “a pause in work, play or an event,” “opposite of an underlying quality or feeling.” Some of the words: fatigue, lifeless, non-living, fallen, death.
The sensations in my body as I read these words were tightness and my leg kept bouncing up and down. What would happen, I thought, if I purposely stopped my bouncing leg and sat up straight, stretching my arms outwards and overhead? What would happen if I slowly brought my arms back and around? I found both my mind and body started to relax! Could I roll my head back and stretch it? No! I started spasmatic coughing, but when I sat on my meditation pillow and stretched my arms, then laid down with my head propped up and stretched, I could determine from head to toe how to relax my body – my lifeless, fallen, death and non-living body started to breath in a different way. After doing those exercises (only about 10 minutes), I noticed a slight difference. Granted, I was very tired after that, so I listened to my body and laid down – without any electronics near to distract me. There was a lesson in this for me and it reminded me of a favorite story of mine:
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It’s a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One wolf is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other wolf is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”
He continued, “The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”
Which wolf will you feed today?