Make Peace with your Pieces
Allie Michelle
One day, she realized she could not outrun her shadow
She brought it in front of her where she could see it
“Why are you so dark?” she asked
Her shadow replied,
“Darkness is the truth you avoid, and
It yearns for the light.”
Though it was painful to stand
In front of a silhouette of her unhealed pieces
She realized it was merely a part of her
That she had not made peace with
As she held herself in the love of her own arms
Her shadow became a part of her, like
The dusk of the setting sun melting into the night sky.
Carl Jung once said, “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you really are.” That’s the great concept of the shadow self – becoming who you genuinely and authentically are – mind, body, spirit as a social, sexual, spiritual, emotional and physical person. The shadow self is that unwanted, unacceptable part of self that we struggle to deny or even repress for sometimes much of our lives. Jung, a Swiss Psychiatrist, called this part of the personality the “Shadow Self.” We are taught consciously and unconsciously, beginning even in utero, to be, feel, and think certain ways, as if expectations are put on us. Gender, for example, can play a large role in this, as can other factors such as age, race and culture or even status or birth order in your family.
When we are a young child, these neat, orderly or even messy roles don’t fit us and we try to revolt, rebel or simply reject what doesn’t fit into our life as if the puzzle pieces don’t quite fit. So, we oftentimes deny or hide our true thoughts and feelings about something or someone, thus forming our shadow self. This shadow self is a part of each of us and becomes a buried part of our personality. These negative impulses, desires and thoughts are shoved down deeply and sometimes quickly to avoid any negative feelings such as shame, embarrassment, intense rage or sexual fantasies and desires that may appear appalling or inappropriate in any way. Shadow work is deep and rich and sometimes exhausting. It is also creative and fun and helps shed light onto dark which helps brings balance into one’s life so we can eventually accept and love unconditionally all that we are, have been and will be.
Here is an interactive meditation to help begin exploring your shadow self, using your five senses. I call it “Exploring your Hidden Treasures.” Gather a few stones, a candle, chocolates, a card and a pen. As you find these treasures, pay attention to your five senses – sight, touch, sound, smell and taste. Learn to identify, honor and accept the shadow in your life today.
Stones – round, smooth, curved like a women’s body; or jagged like someone who broke your heart. Solid and strong, like a man’s muscular broad shoulders. Holding it all together – work, children, lovers and friendships, family and commitment, mid-life, maturity, new endeavors and young minds. Take a moment and hold the rock in the palm of your hand. Close your eyes. What images pop up in your mind? How is your breathing? What do you need to remember and honor? What do you need to let go? Gain strength from the grounding of the stone.
Candles – light shining forever, a burning desire – a loved one’s memory? A new idea? A passionate lover like no other? Old anger that snarls like rage and swallows your energy? Take a moment and stare at the light. What do you see? What do you feel? Stay with it or let it go? Extinguish the flame or build a bonfire? Notice the temperature of your body – are your palms sweating, your groin aching or your eyes and hands cold as ice? Where are you tense in your body right now? Where are you relaxed in your body right now? Gain insight from the flickering light.
Chocolates – chewy, tasty explosions of cocoa that brings a smile to your face. Satisfaction. Trust. Sweetness to honor cravings – an indulgence. Overeating, drinking, sleeping, drugging, sexing, spending, washing, nurturing, smiling, pretending. What do you taste? What do you love and honor and protect? What do you want to spit out, vomit, and avoid? Are you tired? Energized? Lifeless or hopeful? Can you smell anything? Can you see anything or are you closing your eyes so tightly that the salty tears can’t taint the chocolate? Be kind to yourself – you deserve love. Gain compassion and self-love from the delicious treat.
Card and Pen – thoughts and feelings in written form, words from your heart expressing love or hate, old anger, hurt or joy. What is your passion? What is authentically inside your mind, body and spirit? Can you gather strength to write a letter to someone who needs to hear from you? Do you have the courage to mail it, deliver it or rip it to shreds like your heart was ripped or your body stolen or your innocence stripped? What was lost? Was it trust? Dignity? Honor or a childhood? What was gained? Nothing? Everything? Only you can decide. Gain forgiveness from the wisdom of looking within.
Peace, sweet peace to your mind, body and spirit as you journey into your authentic self, picking up the pieces and placing them just so.