After a few months of this pandemic, several versions of quarantine, and some of my own stuff that has been triggered, I’m reminded once again of the wisdom that nature gives us through the cycle of ebb and flow; through life and death; through joy and tragedy.
Regardless of our political views, interpretations or concerns about why COVID19 is here in the world, it is imperative that we as a human race connect with one another to allow the flow of love to pump through our minds and bodies. Whether the connection is within our own tribe, in prayer or meditation, or waving through a window or computer screen to loved ones and business associates, as we individually seek our own truth, we are opening our mind, body and energy to become alive. When alive, we can then become more of our authentic selves and then share that inspiration with others. The hope is to encourage and influence people to eventually submit to perseverance and embrace resilience despite the sickness or heartbreak or tragedy that has been imprinted on their heart. As Emerson so wisely said, “It’s not the length of life, but depth of life.”
The ebb and flow in nature is throughout all lands, and life cannot be full without some form of change or death or restructuring. As you are well aware, changes come in many forms, some joyful like a healthy committed relationship, a new baby, or a freshly planted crop in the right weather conditions. Some can be devastating like a broken relationship, a cancer diagnosis, or a child who left the earth too early. The key to coping through all the fears and changes and obstacles that I’ve learned and share in my practice is trifold: be aware, allow the feelings and thoughts, and then allow for the repair. It’s a process and the process is ongoing, which is why we need to lose ourselves often in something healthy like nature and eventually feel the peace. And remember, the peace will come and go…that’s okay! Similar to nature’s perennials, peace will always come back. Sometimes peace will come back in forms we don’t even consciously realize, like taking on new thoughts and feelings; new people and places; new ideas, new ways of perceiving and even new ways of breathing.
A few weeks ago, I talked with an old friend from grad school. We hadn’t talked in 2 ½ years – life simply got busy. We engaged in a philosophical and riveting conversation - similar to our former conversations - laughed and joked, and reminisced about old times. For part of his life, he grew up in a home in the inner-city surrounded by drug abuse and prostitution. For part of my life, I grew up in an alcoholic and emotionally abusive home. We both came from abandonment and brokenness. We have all endured some form of tragedy, regardless of our age, gender, race or sexual orientation. As our two years of grad school unfolded, he and another good friend and I connected pretty quickly, working on research, trauma-focused therapy, and culture-focused projects that led us to professionally present in Montreal, Quebec. What an honor to stand next to some of the highest achieved in our profession and share the same podium! These honored therapists and educators were supportive to us and shared their life journeys full of vulnerabilities, which in turn encouraged us to stretch and grow. Some were ready to pass the torch as they neared retirement and they were happy and eager to show us the ropes in the counseling field. My trip to Montreal was during a very difficult career transition and brought a flow of peace in a life-changing way.
I find it lovely that Montreal’s city motto, “le salut par la concorde” in French, was taken from the Latin saying “Concordia Salus,” or in English, “well-being through harmony.” What brings you well-being and harmony? What stretches you and gives you a sense of purpose? Are you nearing or beyond retirement, or making an important transition or significant change in your life? How do you manage stress and feed your spirit? Who are the people in your tribe and do they know your love for them? Can you heal a divide between you and another with a sincere apology today for a past hurt? Can you choose to forgive as a healing moment for your own heart and happiness? Once we embrace inner-peace for authentic self-reliance, we can develop, stretch and grow peace to the very core of our being. Then, like the full moon breathing light into the shadow sky, we can be an illuminating path for others, working in harmony to create a better today and a better tomorrow. More self- love and less ego brings forth peace and harmony. It’s your choice how to cultivate it.
Towards the end of the conversation with my friend, I said, “I’m feeling some kind of depth from this whole pandemic and quarantine.” We talked a little more and he summed it up beautifully: “You know me, I find the positive in everything…I’m reframing my mind from what society and other systems want of me. I’ve realized I don’t need a lot of stuff and chasing things does not matter. Even the fear tactic (he’s in Detroit), we gotta just stay home and follow directions and we should be good because we actually don’t know really what’s causing it. There’s too much worrying, fake goals, fake pretending…but you know what? The wind is still blowing, the sun still comes up and the birds are singing!”
When we, like the deeply rooted tree, bow but not break to the ever-changing elements, the power of the true self emerges. This transformative journey is like a treasure map to the deep self. Along this path, there will be drought and brokenness. We will be thirsty and hungry and fall to our knees. And like the branches of the Willow tree, excavating herself time and time again, she will survive the turbulent winds. She will curtsy in the calm breeze; She will dance in authenticity; She will smile in the warmth of the sun.
Continued peace to you always!
