A friend texted me a video of the song “Soul Sweet Song” by the blues-rock group the Tedeschi Trucks Band, and I instantly loved it! It’s powerful and gripping in its storytelling of life and death. As I replayed it over and over, I experienced a crescendo of emotions as I cried through the pain to relief. Gut wrenching, inspiring, beautiful; life and death.
“After the tears and the spate of lonely days
After the noon-born shadows slowly faded
After your heavy stone was rolled away – rolling, rolling
That’s when it finally came to me.”
From “Soul Sweet Song” -Tedeschi Trucks Band
“After” in the above quote indicates something came before, and in this song, tears, lonely days, and shadows of heaviness were a part of the before. This verse ends with the line “that’s when it finally came to me,” the band’s acknowledgement that the ache of the loss they experienced in the death of their friend and bandmate Kofi had been transformed by their acceptance of their sorrow and openness to the gift of nature’s healing.
What’s the heaviness in your life at this very moment? A stressful job? A devasting death? Adjustments in aging? A sick child? A sick parent? An addiction? A misunderstanding or a childhood pain about to rupture once again? You fill in the blank. You are not alone in your suffering, in this difficulty of life, in the season you are in.
Yes, you can deny or avoid your pain for a reprieve – sometimes that’s needed. Then the pain, confusion or suffering will silently catch up with you and take your breath away. At some point, when you have even the smallest amount of strength and courage, can you examine your heart, tap into your faith, and allow your anticipatory loss or actual loss and grief to unfold?
As your sorrow unravels, you may feel vulnerable and messy and scared. You will slowly get unstuck, even if for a short period of time, and just like after a tumultuous storm with turbulent winds and rains, the sun will peer through the brokenness and rebuild that which has been struck down.
“Isn’t it a wonder how things change
I was crying now I’m laughing through the pouring rain
Everything that’s old is new again
Oh that feeling!
Can’t help but hear the harmony”
From “Soul Sweet Song” -Tedeschi Trucks Band
Often I’m asked, “how do I work through my loss?” I suggest starting with stillness. Literally be still. Rearrange your calendar, take a sick day, get a babysitter, cancel plans. Be alone with yourself and allow the unknown to come to light. Allow the monsters to rise and fall. Observe thoughts as they come and go, tame the tumult, and welcome peace to emerge.
When my grief process is stuck, I submerse myself in three areas: quiet, nature and music. In my quiet phase I sit, breathe deeply, stretch, meditate, and pray. This may take several attempts and that’s okay.
From nature, I experience peace as I cultivate my gardens, go to a secluded place by the water or sit at my son’s memorial bench at Farnsworth Park and listen to the birds, feel the wind on my skin, watch fish jump. I allow the opening of my senses to truly awaken yet another level of grief so I can grasp my stuck feelings of pain and confusion and unfasten that heavy chain. Sometimes the weight of loss ruptures. It’s both painful and relieving.
I listen to music that vibrates my bones, energizes my stagnant lymphatic system, and allows my heart to feel at ease. This includes starting with a vast selection from drumming to singing bowls; Gregorian chants to Enya; James Taylor and Carole King to Bob Seger; Motown to Whitney Houston; Chris Stapleton to Florence and the Machine - then I top off my own personal concert with a pretend microphone rapping Eminem and singing the greatest hits from the Steve Miller Band and classic AC/DC.
With all loss, there is a crescendo of pain integrated with the rhythms and harmonies that echo peace and calm, all of which can rearrange grief for a crown of glory – even if intermittently. How lovely is that!? A reprieve or solace of acceptance if you will allow it.
“And the memory of your melody
And the dawn breaks out
The birds all sing
And I feel your rhythm moving me”
“Now there’s no use wishing for your sweet return
Cause I see you in the morning sun
And I hear you on the whispering wind
And I feel your rhythm moving me
‘Cause your soul-sweet-song’s
Still singing”
From “Soul Sweet Song” -Tedeschi Trucks Band
“Testament of a Healing Soul”
May you allow your broken heart to burst open into a thousand shattered pieces
Pick them up one by one along that dark weary path of uncertainty, love, life and loss
And trust – that the illuminating moonlight who relies on the sun for reflection
Will help you reinvent yourself into a mural of healing and peace
May that ache in your bones and quiver on your lips be still in time
Allow it all
Allow the marrying of life and death to sway together hand in hand
Messy, confusing, beautiful, tragic, lovely life
Do this all so you can remember…and smile
Testament of a Healing Soul © 2023 Amy M. Childers
Continued peace to you always!
Click on the link below in the original post to see the video for “Soul Sweet Song” by Tedeschi Trucks Band